Air Canada Getting the Attention it Deserves (Finally)
I became the Business Travel Ninja (BTN).
The first rule of the business travel Ninja became to avoid Air Canada at all costs. Even though avoiding Air Canada usually meant actually saving money, it must be said that learning ways of the BTN requires the cost of extra effort and the practice of great discipline.
On the way to this state of enlightenment and personal achievement the BTN first needed to learn the traps and pitfalls that are used by the enemy to confuse and confound the traveler.
- The distraction of many scheduled flights. This is a tactic used to trap the unwary into Air Canada domain where the the unwary will be become a victim to be abused at the whim every staff member from the ticket/baggage check to the in flight beverage server with the snot nosed attitude. The many flight options are a trap because the only option that matters is the one that gets you where you want to be WHEN you want to be there.
- The Lie of Courtesy and Customer Service. This is a distraction technique of the marketing arm of the beast. If you see any Air Canada employee mimicking the posters or brochures you can be sure that you are being "Grin Fucked" by the enemy.
- The Lie of Convenient Booking. Air Canada's on-line booking is another trap designed to waste your time and frustrate the traveler. It is anything BUT convenient and is deliberately designed with false paths and dead ends with the added trap of surprise time outs and disconnection.
- The Lie of On-Time flights and connections. The most dangerous trap of all. When the traveler arrives at the airport with the appropriate lead time all of the flight schedule displays will advise that your flight is due to arrive on time. When the arrival time nears, you will told the flight you are on is delayed by 20 minutes or some arbitrary number. When the 20 minutes has passed the information will be updated to to another delay. This may go on for hours. You will see that other flights have come and gone. You will see that flights going to the same destination have available seats, but policy says you cannot board these flights. You will be grin fucked by the customer service rep.
- The Lie of Compensation. To Air Canada, a voucher for a dried out airport restaurant sandwich, a chit for cab fare to third rate hotel and yet another day of abuse is called compensation for missed flights and connections. It is really just another opportunity for them to give you the grin fuck,
- The Lie of Reward Miles. This is simply a LIE. Reward miles are the travel service equivalent of Confederate Dollars. Unless you are willing (masochist) enough to suffer enough abuse to collect an obscene quantity of these consolation prize points you will NEVER acquire enough to be of any use.
The Globe and Mail ....