Sunday, January 13, 2008

It's Sunday - So relax!

Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the foods nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard.

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!!!

Unknown Origin


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Blogger cherenkov said...

unknown origin? Dammit, OMMAG, I thought you had actually done that while I was reading it. I was going to give you major cudos for that.

1/13/2008 3:24 p.m.  
Blogger OMMAG said...

I probably wouldn't have had that much patience.... I work more with the direct stare that holds long enough for them to realize they just made some kind of faux pas....

1/13/2008 5:10 p.m.  

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